fear is the heart of love
by faberino
Summary: You're only safe when you're dreaming.  AU


**For a prompt on LJ for the Trick or Drabble. Title from I Will Follow You Into the Dark by Death Cab for Cutie.**

The boat rocks gently beneath him, waves lapping tenderly at the sides. The sun warms his face. Sky stretches above him, only small clouds breaking the endless blue. Wind pushes hair out of his face like a lover.

Kendall Knight knows, without a doubt, that he is dreaming.

But he only sits up in his boat, surveying his surroundings with contentment welling in his chest. It's not the worst dream he's entered, that's for sure.

The lake around him reflects the sky like a vast mirror, and mountains ring it on almost all sides, except for the section just ahead of him. Twin peaks mark the exit of this lake valley, stretching so high that their summits disappear in haze. Between them flows a river, away and out into whatever lies beyond.

It's peaceful, and so, so tempting to only sit here in this boat, enjoying the idyllic view offered him. But he has a job.

A set of oars lie along one side and he pulls them out, plopping them in the water. The boat moves forward steadily, the water lilting beneath him.

"I know you're here," he calls, just a hint louder than his regular speaking voice.

The laughter comes from everywhere and nowhere; it resonates in the oars and up his hands, trembling the fine hairs on the backs of his hands. When he looks over his shoulder, he sees her, reclined comfortably in her own boat about thirty feet to his left.

She's stunning, more beautiful than Kendall remembers her in his waking moments. He barely registers what she's doing until she dives into the water, graceful and fleeting like a fish. A few seconds later, her head pops out of the water. Her smile is blinding. "Hello," she says cheerfully.

Kendall takes her proffered hand, pulling her into the boat. She's wearing a white bikini with red polka dots. Water droplets slip and slide down the smooth skin between her breasts. "Hey, Camille," he replies. Her wet hair slaps him in the face as she turns to face him. "You're looking good."

Camille's dark eyes twinkle as she looks him up and down. "You're not looking so bad, yourself." She leans in close, until Kendall can see each and every eyelash. There's a stray bit of sparkle from her eye shadow on her cheek and before he can stop himself, Kendall reaches out and brushes it away. She leans into the touch.

Her lips brush his, and the effect is instantaneous. The sky turns slate gray, and Kendall can feel snow falling onto his hair, melting as it touches his still sun-heated skin. But he cups the back of her head and pulls her close. Her hands go to their familiar places, one tangled in his hair, the other clenching the fabric of his plaid shirt.

Every fiber in him knows that this is a dream, and only that, but Camille's tongue is hot and insistent in his mouth, and he groans.

The snow stops when she finally pulls away. Her breath ghosts across his face, a cloud in the suddenly cool air. Her dark hair is covered lightly with snow, and he smooths a hand through it, melting it with his touch.

"I miss you," she whispers. The twinkle in her eyes is gone, and the corners of her mouth are taut. He doesn't answer right away, drawing a long index finger down her side, tracing the contours of her body. "This whole thing is stupid, Kendall." She shivers but doesn't pull away.

"It's not stupid if it keeps you alive," he snaps, unintentionally digging his finger into her hip.

This time she squirms away. "You know she can trace you here, Kendall, and you still came. How does that keep me safe if she can pop up in a freaking cruise liner and flatten everything here?" Her tone is hot and vicious and he cringes away from it.

"I couldn't stay away forever," he finally says.

It starts to snow again, fat flakes landing on his nose. He reaches up to brush them away, but Camille catches his hand, holding it in hers. "Does anyone know you're here?"

Her fingernails are painted a deep burgundy. "Your hands are so small," he says, the words catching in his throat. Folding his hands over hers, he pulls her close, so close he can't look at her straight without going a bit cross eyed. "I will do everything I can to hide you from Mercedes."

"Does anyone know you're here?" Camille asks again.

"No."

Her smile flashes silver and brilliant in the watery sunlight. "Might as well stay a little longer, right?"

He blinks, and they are on the beach, the starry night sky covering them. It's the perfect temperature, the kind of spring evening just before the raging heat of California summers scorches everything. Camille smiles at him from her spot on the blanket next to him. She's gloriously naked, her skin glowing in the moonlight.

Kendall rolls on top of her, admiring the spill of her hair over her shoulders and the blanket. "I won't be back for a long time after this," he murmurs into her hair as he pushes into her. She makes a small noise that Kendall can't interpret. "But when I do come back, we won't be dreaming." Her back arches when he bites her shoulder, tightening around him and clawing at his back.

He loses his grip on the dream and his eyes fly open, mouth wide open as he gasps for breath that won't fill his lungs. Without removing himself from the IV attaching him to the dream machine, Kendall punches the wall, shouting wordlessly when it remains unyielding. The IV rips out of his arm with a quick sting. The door bursts open and Logan's silhouette fills the doorway. His body tremors minutely, and Kendall can tell he's terrified. "Are you okay?" the other boy asks, his voice low and husky from recovering illness. His eyes dart to the dream machine and narrow. "Were you…did you go under?"

Kendall gets to his feet, rubbing angrily at his smarting hand. "No." A small drop of blood wells on his arm, and Logan steps forward, but Kendall pushes brusquely past him.

Logan follows him up the hallway, to the living room. Camille rests on the couch, hooked up to her own dream machine; her fingertips just barely brush the carpeted floor. Kendall crouches and gently rests her hand on her stomach. Her lips twitch and Kendall presses a kiss to her cold fingers.

"Griffin will be gone in a matter of time, Kendall," Logan says softly. "And then – and then she'll wake up."

Kendall nods decisively, getting to his feet. "Get dressed, Logan. It's gonna be a big night." Something like a smile crosses Logan's face.


End file.
